3-D

SHARK NIGHT 3D

SHARK NIGHT 3D

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT:  SHARK NIGHT 3D By L.L. Soares (THE SCENE: A swimming pool at the YMCA. The lifeguard, LL SOARES, does a cannonball into the water, splashing everyone there) LS (laughs): This sure is a fun gig. Too bad Michael can’t be here. LADY: You drenched me right through my clothes! LS: Too bad(…)

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CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011)

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011)

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011) Movie Review by L.L. Soares Welcome to the Hyborian Age, by Crom! It makes sense that someone would want to reboot the CONAN franchise. After all, Robert E. Howard gave us one of the greatest characters in the history of heroic fiction, and the movies have just barely scratched the surface(…)

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FRIGHT NIGHT (2011)

FRIGHT NIGHT (2011)

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: FRIGHT NIGHT (2011) By Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares   (THE SCENE: A suburban cookie-cutter neighborhood, with lines of houses all looking the same. A TEENAGER looks out his window with binoculars at the neighboring house. His GIRLFRIEND comes up behind him.) GIRLFRIEND: Spying on your new neighbors again? Let me guess.(…)

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FINAL DESTINATION 5

FINAL DESTINATION 5

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: FINAL DESTINATION 5 By Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares (THE SCENE: A suspension bridge. Workmen are making repairs. MICHAEL ARRUDA and LL SOARES drive along slowly in bumper-to-bumper traffic. MA is behind the steering wheel) MA: I hate these large suspension bridges. I can’t get off them fast enough. They’re creepy. LS:(…)

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CKF COMING ATTRACTIONS FOR AUGUST 2011

CKF COMING ATTRACTIONS FOR AUGUST 2011

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT COMING ATTRACTIONS: August 2011 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares (THE SCENE: A laboratory, with two scientists in white lab coats arguing on either side of a CGI-created chimpanzee.) SCIENTIST #1: That chimp is too smart for its own good! SCIENTIST#2: What makes you say that? (CUT to chimp reading the WALL(…)

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CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (2011) By Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares   (THE SCENE: A battlefield somewhere in Europe during World War II. Allied forces are caught in a fierce crossfire with Nazi stormtroopers. Suddenly, a man with a shield appears. On the shield are the letters CKF. The man is(…)

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HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2 (2011) Movie Review by Dan Keohane OK, I was going to start this review with something Entertainment Weekly-ish, talking about how 10 years ago the movies derived from J.K.Rowling’s HARRY POTTER books took over the big screen, with Chris Columbus at the helm to start, and David(…)

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TRANSFORMERS: DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

TRANSFORMERS: DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

(Editor’s note: Listen to Pink Floyd’s album “The Dark Side of the Moon” while you’re reading this, for an extra kick.)  CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (2011) By Michael Arruda and (special guest star) Dan Keohane   (The Scene: The interior of an office building. MICHAEL ARRUDA is seated at a table(…)

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CKF COMING ATTRACTIONS: JULY 2011

CKF COMING ATTRACTIONS: JULY 2011

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT COMING ATTRACTIONS: July 2011 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares (THE SCENE:  The stark surface of the moon.  An astronaut slowly makes his way through zero gravity.) ASTRONAUT (crackly audio):  Mission Control?  Come in. MISSION CONTROL:  Mission Control, here.  Go ahead. ASTRONAUT:  I don’t believe this, Mission Control.  We’re not alone up(…)

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GREEN LANTERN

GREEN LANTERN

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: GREEN LANTERN (2011) By Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares   (The Scene: A beach at dusk. MICHAEL ARRUDA & L.L. SOARES approach the wreckage of a crashed alien spaceship.) MA: Wow, we’ve found a real live alien spaceship! LS: Maybe they’ll abduct you to some distant galaxy so I can be spared(…)

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