3-D

Cinema Knife Fight: COMING ATTRACTIONS FEBRUARY 2012

Cinema Knife Fight: COMING ATTRACTIONS FEBRUARY 2012

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: COMING ATTRACTIONS FEBRUARY 2012 By Michael Arruda & L.L Soares (The Scene: A toy store. A little girl screams when a Teddy Bear floats off the shelf and starts to chase her. MICHAEL ARRUDA & L.L. SOARES enter scene.) MA: That’s a new low for you. Picking on little kids. LS: Don’t(…)

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UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING

UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING (2012) By Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares (The Scene: An Expo inside a huge conference building, demonstrating the latest in 3D technology. The room is full to capacity.) LEAD ENGINEER: Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourself to be wowed. This is truly a historic day. I present to you the newest(…)

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THE DARKEST HOUR (2011)

THE DARKEST HOUR (2011)

THE DARKEST HOUR (2011) Movie Review by L.L. Soares In a year that has given us a lot of alien invasion movies (SKYLINE and BATTLE: LOS ANGELES come most quickly to mind), THE DARKEST HOUR doesn’t have a lot of new things to say about the topic. Sure, this time, the aliens are invisible and(…)

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IMMORTALS

IMMORTALS

IMMORTALS (2011)Movie Review by L.L. Soares So, I had seen the trailer for IMMORTALS a few times and had zero expectations for this film. It looked like a rip-off of Zach Snyder’s 300 (2006), with some CLASH OF THE TITANS (2010) thrown in for good measure. In other words, there was a chance this one(…)

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A VERY HAROLD AND KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS

A VERY HAROLD AND KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: A VERY HAROLD AND KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS (2011) By Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares (THE SCENE: The snow-covered rooftop of a WHITE CASTLE hamburger joint at night. LL SOARES and MICHAEL ARRUDA are looking up at the stars when a sleigh pulled by reindeers flies past. LS picks up a snowball and(…)

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CKF COMING ATTRACTIONS – NOVEMBER 2011

CKF COMING ATTRACTIONS – NOVEMBER 2011

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT – COMING ATTRACTIONS NOVEMBER 2011 by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares (The Scene: A beach full of bikini-clad college girls on Spring Break, and yeah, there are guys on the beach too, and they’re not wearing bikinis.  L.L. SOARES sits on a beach chair wearing an oversized pair of 3-D glasses.  MICHAEL(…)

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SHARK NIGHT 3D

SHARK NIGHT 3D

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT:  SHARK NIGHT 3DBy L.L. Soares (THE SCENE: A swimming pool at the YMCA. The lifeguard, LL SOARES, does a cannonball into the water, splashing everyone there) LS (laughs): This sure is a fun gig. Too bad Michael can’t be here. LADY: You drenched me right through my clothes! LS: Too bad for(…)

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CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011)

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011)

CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011) Movie Review by L.L. Soares Welcome to the Hyborian Age, by Crom! It makes sense that someone would want to reboot the CONAN franchise. After all, Robert E. Howard gave us one of the greatest characters in the history of heroic fiction, and the movies have just barely scratched the surface(…)

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FRIGHT NIGHT (2011)

FRIGHT NIGHT (2011)

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: FRIGHT NIGHT (2011) By Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares   (THE SCENE: A suburban cookie-cutter neighborhood, with lines of houses all looking the same. A TEENAGER looks out his window with binoculars at the neighboring house. His GIRLFRIEND comes up behind him.) GIRLFRIEND: Spying on your new neighbors again? Let me guess.(…)

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FINAL DESTINATION 5

FINAL DESTINATION 5

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT: FINAL DESTINATION 5 By Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares (THE SCENE: A suspension bridge. Workmen are making repairs. MICHAEL ARRUDA and LL SOARES drive along slowly in bumper-to-bumper traffic. MA is behind the steering wheel) MA: I hate these large suspension bridges. I can’t get off them fast enough. They’re creepy. LS:(…)

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